🀷 3D Square

Apple just can't survive without that 30% | Dorsey quits Twitter to live in a Block | More space junk

🀷 3D Square

Hi there, future boycotters of the metaverse.

This week was sort of okay I guess? 🀷. On the one hand, work for me is going to start quietening down now. But on the other hand, I've worked so hard that I am now ill. Hahahahaha... ha?

Scroll down gently and sensually for:

  • Apple VS Epic: Apple are trying to squeeze money out of the app store like a thirsty survival expert squeezing liquid out of animal faeces.
  • Jack Dorsey quits Twitter so he can create hype around JPGs and tungsten cubes
  • A quick history lesson about space junk: today's rocket launch is tomorrow's debris...

🧱 Breaking: social media is too boring for Jack Dorsey

I feel like Jack Dorsey turned into a self-righteous crypto bro so quickly, I didn't even notice. Was he always like that?? Probably, right?

As you may have heard, he quit as Twitter's CEO this week to focus on Square, which now actually called... Block (basically, they've gone 3D). If you go to Block's website you'll see a very cool animated cube swishing around. This quite obviously means they spent a lot of time and money (bitcoin?) on website design, and almost nothing on messaging. Example: one of their subsidiary websites, Spiral, says: "Bitcoin is the best money. It should be used like it". What the fuck does that even mean? How do I use money like it's the 'best'? Money is just money β€” it's completely neutral and I only use it one way: begrudgingly.

Anyway, anyway, anyway: Block brings together crypto payment systems, a decentralised Bitcoin exchange, and also Tidal β€” a music streaming service that literally does not need to exist. Now, why would Jack Dorsey want to stop being in charge of a big social media platform, just to facilitate the buying and selling of tungsten cubes? Two answers:

  1. Tungsten cubes are the future β€” wake up
  2. Social media is under a heap of regulatory scrutiny right now. That's BORING and HARD to deal with. Regulators, being ten years behind everything, still don't know what crypto is. Dorsey is safe here.

Dorsey's move away from social media, and more into blockchain, is the same flavour of bullshit that brought us Meta: it's all based the embarrassing assumption that no one thinks social media is cool anymore, but they do think NFTs and virtual coffee shops are. Special fact: none of it is cool, and Jack Dorsey is now just Elon Musk Liteℒ️.

🍏Apple continue to fight for their shitty business model

Some time ago a judge ruled that Apple had to let app developers use external payment systems, and this comes into effect on the 9th of December. So, until now, Apple had been forcing developers to run their in-app purchase mechanisms through Apple, allowing Apple to take a 30% cut of these transactions.

In September I wrote about the judge's confusing ruling on this. On the one hand she said that the 30% cut was pointless and should be gone, but on the other hand... she did not officially order them to stop charging it.

Anyway, NOW Apple must allow links to external payment systems. But they are still β€” somehow, with the power of their giant legal team β€” have suggested that they continue to take a cut of those transactions.

Right, okay... here's the thing I don't understand: are Apple not aware of how expensive iPhones and Macs are? Is that not enough money for them? Are we to assume that if we stop them from collecting 30% of every App Store transaction, the price of their hardware will sky-rocket to compensate?? Seems likely.

πŸ₯©Two more things to chew on before you dissolve yourself in alcohol and/or drugs...

Twitter has expanded their private information policy to include media: so this means if you post a video or image of a person without their permission, they can request a take-down. Makes sense, and sounds good. Except... what if the video is of a cop beating up protesters?

Utter space mess: Time for a history lesson! In 1994, NASA launched something into space, and then didn't properly factor-in what the debris would do several years later β€” because the ISS had to swerve away from it just today. Last month Russia also conducted an anti-satellite missile test (AKA they blew up one of their own satellites), causing an irresponsible amount of space debris. As I've written before, space junk is just another one of those problems that we routinely ignore, even though experts beg us not to. What's wrong with us?

Thank you for reading. Stay delicious and remember: the truth is out there, but you'll probably never find it online πŸ––


πŸ’Œ Seeing as you're at the end of this week's Horrific/Terrific, I guess you enjoyed it. Please express gratitude by donating money to me so I can keep doing this. You can share opinions/submit news stories any time on my Twitter or email.