πŸ‘Ž Assisted Crash

Please change the world, but ignore that the world even exists | Tesla's triple whammy | Now you can deepfake a great lake

πŸ‘Ž Assisted Crash

Hello all, and may I extend a special warm welcome to my new subscribers β€” all... two of you.

Since leaving Substack, I've been having issues with organic growth, so if all of you could just share this issue of Horrific/Terrific as if there's a free t-shirt for you on the other end (there isn't), that would be GREAT.

On with the show: this week was something I could have done without πŸ‘Ž. Mostly because I can Β only see friends outdoors and the weather STILL isn't accommodating, but also because:

  • CoinBasecamp: "please change the world without having difficult discussions, THANK YOU"
  • Three reasons why Tesla and I won't be speaking anymore
  • Think about it: deepfakes are not limited to faces...

⚑️ EV with a side of AV with another side of PR

Tesla have really been getting on my last nerve this week. It's almost as if a company who produce expensive wank cars for Elon Musk fanboys is just not my kind of company.

Anyway, three bite-sized, Tesla-shaped turds were deposited into my news reel this week:

☝️ONE: shockingly, executives at Tesla say that there actually WAS someone in the drivers seat during the car crash in Texas. This is in direct contrast to local investigators, who say that they are 100% certain no one was behind the wheel. Who do we think is right? The investigators, who's job it is to solve these kinds of mysteries? Or Tesla, who's job it is to convince the world to buy self-driving cars?

Cool and awesome facts:

  • This Tesla model only had the 'Autopilot' feature, which is considered Level 2 Automation Β β€” which means it needs a human to be paying attention at all times.
  • Tesla have already had their giant, sweaty wrist slapped over how confusing it is for consumers to call something autonomous when it isn't, really.
  • This US survey really does illustrate how little consumers generally understand about all this. 62% of Americans believe that you can buy a self-driving car anywhere in the world right now...

✌️ TWO: as of now, you cannot buy a solar panel from Tesla without a power storage unit too. They are a package. Because Musk wants every home to be locked in to Tesla products when the world finally eats itself and we are forced to only use solar power not because it's the right thing to do, but through sheer lack of choice.

🀟 THREE: Tesla make electric vehicles, and those are better for the environment. WRONG. Tesla make $BANK and it's terrible for the environment, because they do so via Bitcoin. You may remember that in February, Tesla bought $1.5bn worth of Bitcoin and Musk went on Clubhouse saying "I do at this point think Bitcoin is a good thing". All of this made Bitcoin go up, of course. Okay so now, Tesla have sold 10% of their Bitcoin, and made $101m in profit, according to this other, much lower-level capitalist. Honestly, WHY BOTHER producing electric cars if you're just going to directly invest in damaging the Earth's atmosphere anyway??


πŸ™„ Great, thanks a lot Basecamp

This week I started adding some to dos to a project in Basecamp, really happy that I'd finally come across some remote project management software that didn't annoy the living shit out of me. Then, my client goes, "oh yeah we're moving off Basecamp following the... debacle".

I actually didn't know what she was talking about yet, so I Googled it and landed on this completely inane love letter on how to control employees. So now, Basecamp can find a comfy seat next to Deliveroo and Substack (it’s a large bin, there’s space).

ICYMI: they did a Coinbase and told their employees that they shouldn’t discuss politics at work.

✨ SOME THOUGHTS (numbered, for your pleasure πŸ˜‰):

  1. Announcing what should have been just an internal thing clearly shows that they knew someone would leak it anyway, and it would make them look bad. Result: they still look bad.
  2. This announcement was written by one co-founder, and checked by his cookie-cut-out counter part. You can tell by how badly it reads, and how self-important the tone is. This is what happens when someone who managed to start a company assumes that they are an expert at literally everything else.
  3. Telling employees what they can and cannot talk about at work means you don’t know how to manage them, because you don’t know how to manage anything (because you've never done anything difficult in your life).
  4. Getting rid of positive feedback in 360 reviews is a great way to alienate your staff and ensure your turn-around is way above industry average. So this is perfect if that's what they were aiming for...
  5. His last point, which is titled 'no forgetting what we do here' is especially irritating β€” 0 out of 7 thumbs up, would not recommend. 'We are not a social impact company' is the fascist icing on the authoritarian cake. Tech companies want to innovate the way we work, the way we spend money, and the way we communicate β€” but you're right, white man, none of those things impact society even a little bit.
  6. People like me (douchebags) will make fun my friend's non-tech company work place, where the email system is so shit that they can only send one email a minute, but I am a FOOL; at least they have a fucking HR department.

Right, that's enough. Time to migrate to Airtable and silently pray that they don't build nuclear weapons on the side.

Just FYI Jason Fried's last post on hey.com Β before this one was about his new sauna β€” which, honestly, explains everything...


πŸ—Ί Uh... deepfaked satellite images??

New bullshit just dropped: apparently geographers are becoming increasingly worried about the amount of fake, AI generated satellite imagery. Would anyone like to jump on a call to discuss all the possible ways this could destroy us all? Because I would actually love that.

Thank you once again for inhaling my opinion like hefty clouds of addictive vape.

Love from your BOF (Best Online Friend).


πŸ“£ If you have a cool or funny story to put in Horrific/Terrific please tweet me, or even send a DM